To Love Or Not To Love?

If there is one thing people love to write about, make movies about, and make a huge fuss about - it's love. From Schrodinger's heart to Shah Jahan's Taj Mahal - love exists everywhere. People say love is the easiest and the most complicated thing ever, that it is what makes life worth living and people worth fighting for, that it is strength and weakness and everything in the middle. But is love forever? Ah, I wish. I mean, we talk about love like heartbreaks aren't just as real. So well, what is love? Love is a lot like string theory - you can figure it all out on paper as much as you'd like, but actually going through with it and experimenting it in real life? That's a completely different ball game. And much like string theory, as amazing as it all looks on paper, the experiments can often result in failure. And as someone who has experienced more than her share of heartbreaks, I can tell you one thing for sure - a lot of times, you can find something very unexpected in your experiments and yet it can still make sense. But that doesn't change the fact that it was never what you wanted it to be. However, as I'm writing this, it's just dawning upon me that much like string theory - sometimes a few imperfections can also make perfect sense. That maybe love doesn't have to be exactly what you think of it to be, that it holds the power to surprise you beyond your imagination. Love has always been an emotion difficult for me to navigate through.

You see, I have had these stubborn notions about love since I learnt the damn word. I love love and I loved being in love. I think it empowers you and it helps you grow. But I also think that love shouldn't become the seed for your growth, it must only remain an accelerant. Because the moment you allow it to control your growth, you stunt it yourself. When it comes to love, it's like my mind and heart are two different people altogether - the realist and the romantic. And while the romantic has all the fun, the realist makes sure it doesn't overexert itself. I mean, I am crazy about the idea of spontaneous trips and grand gestures but I'm also terrified of being the center of attraction and at the thought that what if it doesn't work out? I love the idea of writing letters to my loved ones with red ink and flowers, but I also want to single mindedly focus on my career so we can live a good life together. I have been thinking a lot about love lately, but the most I think of it is like a black rose with a couple of thorns - while the rose itself is beautifully rare, if not handled with care, the thorns can really hurt you. And the scars from those thorns? They stay. They stay even if you are lucky enough to find another rose in your lifetime. And the second rose you find might not be as rare as the first one, but it'll be beautiful all the same. After all, you don't love the roses for the fact they're rare - you love them despite their thorns.